Best gift EVER!

I was thinking about the best gift I've ever received. I'm fortunate; I've received a lot of good gifts. But the best was probably the desk I got when I was 10. I had wanted my own desk for soooooooo long, and never thought that my parents could afford it. My parents made me believe that it just wasn't a possibility. I gave up hope. 

Then, Christmas Eve, it was snowing, but my uncle Tony showed up with his truck, and he and my dad started hauling a piece of furniture into the house. I was totally confused because we were supposed to be eating dinner and opening gifts. Why was Tony there and why were they unloading stuff? Then my dad uncovered the desk and for a moment I was sad, because I thought it was for my mom. She didn't even want a desk! Then my dad said it was for me. I was still doubtful. He insisted. Once they put it up in my bedroom, I started to believe. I spent the entire night opening and closing drawers, figuring out where each pencil and piece of paper I owned would go. I couldn't imagine ever having enough to fill all the drawers. I carved my name into a tiny corner of the desk, so I could be sure it was mine, and could never go back to the store. I can still remember, so vividly, what it felt like to know that desk was all mine. 

I still have the desk in my bedroom and still use it. I should probably invest in something a little bigger, to accommodate a laptop and monitor, but I can't imagine getting rid of my desk. I don't think anyone would ever call me sappy, but I guess there are a few things I'm sentimental about. 

Next best gift? Probably the sleeping bag that looked like blue jeans. My brother and I used to "camp out" on our living room floor sometimes, especially when we had a babysitter. One time, when we were about 6 and 8, my older cousin, Nancy, was babysitting. My brother was kind of a control freak and had to have his sleeping bag just right. No corner un-straightened. He'd crawl all over the bag, smoothing down wrinkles until it was just right, then he'd very gingerly climb in. 

So Nancy would flip up a corner. 

Chris would huff and make a huge deal of climbing out of the bag, crawl to the corner and begin his process of smoothing out the sleeping bag.

Once he was ensconced inside, Nancy would flip up another corner. 

Chris would scowl and sigh and crawl out again and make a big production of making it just perfect. Then he'd eye her carefully as he crawled inside.

She did it one more times, and Chris was about to completely lose his shit. We were trying not to laugh. She stopped because he looked like he was about to cry. Chris, you were such a huge OCD baby. 

[If you look really closely, you can see "Kim" carved in the corner.]

I am thankful for ... Volume 1

It's the season to be thankful. In order to get credit for being a "thankful person" I'm publicly posting my gratefulness here, and will continue to add things as I think of them throughout the week. These five are top-of-mind today:

I am thankful that my house is not haunted. After watching Paranormal Activity 3 and 4, as well as The Conjuring over the weekend, I think this is an appropriate thing to be thankful for. God, what a pain in the ass it must be to have 'haints in your house. And it's always poor people who can't afford to walk away from their house. Even though my house was built in 1921. Given that it's been around nearly a century, you'd think there'd be a few souls wandering around. But I don't get any weird feelings, have any strange dreams, or feel any strange cold spots. My dogs don't bark at weird things and they're not afraid of the basement. In fact, I can't keep the little shits out of the basement because they know that's where I keep the dog food. So I'm very lucky that my house is free of paranormal activity. but believe me, I don't care how much I still owe on my mortgage - I'd leave my house in a fucking heartbeat if I saw a door shut on its own.

 

Along similar lines, I am thankful that I live in a state where we don't have bugs or other creepy crawlies (e.g., flying cockroaches, giant spiders, snakes, scorpions). The show Infested! makes me feel very aware of how a person can become a prisoner in their own home if something else takes over. You think humans are tat the top of the food chain? Try telling that to the fucking BEES LIVING IN THE WALLS! Or the BATS LIVING IN THE WALLS. Or the SNAKES LIVING IN THE WALLS. I think below-zero weather is an ok trade-off for living cockroach-free. 

 

I am thankful for having a job where I get to write and be creative and work with people I genuinely like to be around! I can't imagine how awful it would be to have to spend 8+ hours a day with people you couldn't stand. Don't get me wrong though. If I won the lottery I'd still leave in a second.

 

I am thankful for being healthy, though I'm far from the paragon of health. I should exercise more and eat less fried cheese ... I have terrible seasonal allergies ... I get migraines sometimes ... But all of these are manageable. They don't destroy my life. I've never had to deal with cancer or chronic pain and illness, like so many people I know. People who take much better care of themselves than I do. I feel guilty sometimes. Apparently not guilty enough to get my ass to the gym. But believe me, I know how lucky I am to have the petty problems I have.

I am thankful that I have satellite TV. Who are these people that don't have cable? Or worse - who don't even own a TV!? Why am I friends with people like you? Not owning a TV doesn't make you smarter - it means you're probably woefully out of touch with  pop culture. There was a time when I was embarrassed to say that I watched "The Real Housewives of ..." No more apologies. Watching TV means I'm connected to the zeitgeist. Or maybe I AM the zeitgeist.